Lately, I’ve been undergoing a transformational process that’s been occurring over the last two years. Brene Brown would call it my “mid-life unraveling.”
Brene Brown (love her!) wrote:
Midlife is when the universe gently places her hands upon your shoulders, pulls you close, and whispers in your ear:
It’s time. All of this pretending and performing – these coping mechanisms that you’ve developed to protect yourself from feeling inadequate and getting hurt – has to go. Your armor is preventing you from growing into your gifts. I understand that you needed these protections when you were small. I understand that you believed your armor could help you secure all of the things you needed to feel worthy and lovable, but you’re still searching and you’re more lost than ever. Time is growing short. There are unexplored adventures ahead of you. You can’t live the rest of your life worried about what other people think. The time has come to let go of who you think you’re supposed to be and embrace who you are.
Through a lot of self-reflection, meditation, writing, and forgiveness, I’ve become receptive to my inner voice, which I’ve ignored and buried for decades. She is the real, authentic me, and is finally coming out to see the light of day! I find myself performing less, and connecting more with others. I’m feeling present and more able to experience and enjoy the moment. Many things are simply falling into place with synchronicity. Other things I accept as journeys and sometimes obstacles from which to learn. And I trust and know that I’m always being fully supported by my Divine (call it what you will!), my Higher Self, my friends and family.
Today, I experience more joy than I ever have in my life, and I have freed myself from my habitual numbing practices, including alcohol and watching WAY too much t.v. Listening to my inner voice, and doing as I’m prompted to do are my life now, and it feels so good. Yes, fear and doubt pop up for me almost daily, but I’m learning to acknowledge that, and take the action steps anyway. That’s the only way that I can become truly successful in my life.
Through inner work and focus, I’m protecting and nurturing my roots as a human being, and beginning to connect with and feel what my purpose is in this world. From the outside, my life looks much the same as it was, but on the inside, I’m a completely different person. And I like this real me very much!